Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
