I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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