my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize