Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize