Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
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