Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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