yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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