We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize