wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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