omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
