Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
