How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
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