Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
