And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
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