I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
