I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Randomize
