do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
