Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Randomize
