You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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