Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
