I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
