is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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