i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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