I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
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