I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
