i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
