...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
