LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize