I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
