Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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