David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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