You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize