NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
