no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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