the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
