so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
