You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Randomize
