Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Randomize
