A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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