"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
