worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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