I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
