Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
