I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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