So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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