Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Randomize
