Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Randomize
