We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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