really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
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