peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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