In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
