Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Randomize
