we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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