And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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