I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
