she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
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