sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
