How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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