absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
i think im in europe. pls send help
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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