btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
its not stalking. its research.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
