Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
