So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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