you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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