Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
