A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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