She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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