Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
You are a genius and a whore.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
