More tranny stories later!
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
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