Im at strip club and am horny
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
