Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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