lets start a swedish sibling band together
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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