So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Randomize
