Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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