am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Randomize
