Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize