come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
