I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize